It’s amazing what a little bit a sunshine + whole lotta love will do for a girl. 😌🖤✨✨✨
Today 3 years ago we got the keys to a beautiful bright home with hope that yet another game of make believe will finally make life ok. Less than 45 days later my dad and brother were helping us load up what we could grab (I think it was 6 diffusers and zero socks if you’ve heard the story 😉). With my broken face + even more broken spirit, I packed up my terrified + confused children and we left. I don’t think I’ve even been more unhappy then when we were in North Carolina, I blamed the weather, I blamed the state but now we know. All that known, I absolutely wouldn’t change it if I had the chance. Every single drop of blood, sweat and tears brought us to where we are today. + I could not be more thankful + grateful that we are beyond happy, safe + loved. 🖤✨✨✨
Tonight we manifested our dreams for 2020 and made dry shampoo to use while we tackle them.✨🌱🖤 We dropped rose on our crown, diffused into the future and listened to meditation music. It was spiritual, peaceful + everything my heart needed. 🖤
My one word for 2020 is community and this evening was the perfect start. 🌱
𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙍𝙀𝘿𝙄𝙀𝙉𝙏𝙎 2 𝙏𝘽𝙎 𝘼𝙧𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙩 𝙋𝙤𝙬𝙙𝙚𝙧 5 𝙙𝙧𝙤𝙥𝙨 𝙇𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧 5 𝙙𝙧𝙤𝙥𝙨 𝘾𝙚𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙬𝙤𝙤𝙙 5 𝙙𝙧𝙤𝙥𝙨 𝙍𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 For 𝘽𝙍𝙐𝙉𝙀𝙏𝙏𝙀 𝙃𝘼𝙄𝙍 add: 2 𝙏𝘽𝙎 𝘾𝙤𝙘𝙤𝙖 𝙋𝙤𝙬𝙙𝙚𝙧 For 𝘽𝙇𝙊𝙉𝘿𝙀 𝙃𝘼𝙄𝙍 add: 3/4 𝙩𝙨𝙥 𝙏𝙪𝙢𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙘 For 𝙍𝙀𝘿 𝙃𝘼𝙄𝙍 add: 2 1/4 𝙩𝙨𝙥 𝙋𝙖𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙠𝙖 𝙃𝙊𝙒 𝙏𝙊 𝙈𝘼𝙆𝙀: Add all ingredients to a bowl and stir until they are thoroughly combined. Transfer your dry shampoo to an airtight jar for storage. 𝙃𝙊𝙒 𝙏𝙊 𝙐𝙎𝙀: First, grab the makeup brush and apply dry shampoo to the roots around forehead and temples. This is typically the area that needs the most volume. Next, I flip my head over and use the brush to apply it to the rest of my scalp. After that, allow the powder to set for 2-3 minutes, then brush your hair from root to tip. This helps to distribute the powder throughout your hair as well as remove any excess. Now, run your fingers through your hair and look for oily places you may have missed. Spot apply as needed, then brush again. Ideally, you’ll want to give your hair 5-10 minutes to fully absorb the shampoo before styling, but if you’re in a rush go ahead and style immediately.🌱✨🖤
Wish I could tell her. Wish I could warn her. You really think this is it. It’s not. RUN. 🖤 🖤 🖤
Not even 6 weeks later he beat me up so horrifically in that beautiful kitchen, I still get flashbacks and have a hard time with the memories. 2 weeks after that the blood from my face was splattered on the other side of that door as he almost killed me front of our children…..😞 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 Changing the house didn’t change a thing. Leaving the abuse changed EVERYTHING. ✨🖤
Keeks been sick + working for the last 2 days yet, he came home with flowers and my favorite chocolate for me, to stay thanks for taking care of him. I’m not surprised the elderberry and oils worked but I’ll never stop being in awe and wonder of this mans love and the way he shows me.
This morning, I woke to a big withdrawal/transaction I wasn’t expecting pretty much emptying an account I’m trying to save money in.
Basically I woke to money missing that I wasn’t expecting and all of a sudden I was that scared woman hiding her wallet at night from her addict husband wondering how we will pay bills.😔 It’s a feeling that flashes back and that feels so real it takes over me and my emotions.
Y’all. When I’m like this it’s not pretty. I fully expected him to rush off to work just to avoid my meltdown but he stayed. He brought me coffee, he put on my favorite show to distract me and he showed me kindness, grace and love.
Like always him simply being there reminded me that I am safe. I am ok. I can handle this and anything life throws my way and he’s always going to protect me. 🖤🌱 #ohkiki#keeksncokes
Maybe we don’t heal by convincing ourselves that someday, the pain will fade; that we’ll return to our former selves and reclaim the life we used to have.
Maybe we heal when we accept that it’s okay to never go back; when we stop trying to use the broken pieces to rebuild the old picture, and instead, create a new one.
Maybe we heal by affirming that even with this pain, we can craft a life that gives us meaning; that even when there are storms that flood our hearts, we can learn how to swim; that when night falls, we can learn to create our own light.
Maybe healing means trusting that no matter how many times we have to recreate ourselves and redirect our path, we will end up where we’re meant to be. — Daniell Koepke
A few things got me with through yesterday but alcohol was not one of them.
When you go through hard shit sober, it’s a lot. Like a lot a lot. 😫 ++ when you pretty much drank for all the emotions + you’re forced to sit with them finally. Holy hell. But damn. When you break throug
When you come out the other side. 🌈
When the rational side overcomes the emotional side and all the work you put in can be used to get you through. That is pure MAGIC.✨ I lost it yesterday. Emotionally. I broke. But at the end of the day. I am still whole. I am not broken.
My life is as I have designed it and I am proud of its beautiful mess. I have my boys and I have Kiki; my parents are healthy and I’m loved; my girlfriends are caring and always show up.
We are healthy. We are thriving. At the end of the day we have it all. And what a feeling that is when you can feel that amazingness fully.