A little over 2 years ago I left my abusive husband after he nearly killed me in front of our 3 boys.
During the demise of our marriage, years of living a life with him that was horrible to endure I dove very heavily into drinking to cope.
Help me sleep, numb the loneliness and to straight up deal with his bullshit. I was forever rewarding myself for dealing with him or drinking him away.
It took me over a year after leaving to realize alcohol wouldn’t save or heal me from our past or our trauma. If only it was holding me captive.
Over 18 months ago I literally met the love of my life. He is not a drinker (by choice his mother struggled growing up so he chose not to drink) I was drinking when we first got together + I thought for sure that it would be a detriment to our new relationship.
However this wasn’t the case. It didn’t make my relationship worse, or cause us issues rather kept me from feeling and experience all the new and wonderful that was happening.
Slowly I realized that my drinking was keeping me from being fully present and being able to truly live my best life.
I am happy.
I am safe.
I AM LOVED!!
there was no reason for me to continue drinking anymore to cope
if anything it was keeping me back.
Almost 9 months free of alcohol and the changes still blow me away.
My eyes are actually brighter. What went brown and cold turned back Hazel with light behind it.
I simply can’t be grateful enough for the strength each day to not drink.
It’s been hard but everyday proves over and over to be worth it!
Takes a whole lot of discipline to talk a tired coco out of bed.
Every morning at 415am my need to be the best I can be and my need for more sleep battle each other in my head.
Most mornings I have to jump out of bed when the alarm goes off and start the coffee or the “you worked so hard yesterday, just stay in bed, snoooze for just 15 more minutes” voice gets LOUD and is way harder to tell to stfu.
Once I’m standing up and I smell the coffee it’s time to lace up my sneaks and get myself ready to leave. The mind is a powerful thing, you have the choice to use the power for positive changes and good, always. 👏🏻✨
Two Hundred + Fifty Days + a Lifetime to Go. ✨✨ #soberaf
So much freaking YES. 💪🏼🖤 I literally wake up sooo thankful for this life I get to live. Sounds so cliche. I know but it’s really not. When you have been beyond low you can fully understand so much more the highs.
You don’t take things you for granted especially things you never got to have before.
You can make the most out of even the struggles because you know it is all temporary + have been through worse. So much worse.
When I think about how far we have come it feels like forever ago yet also so much like just yesterday. In a blink of an eye your whole world can change + I’m not taking one chance missing out on the best even if it means feeling stress. 🙌🏼🖤👏🏻 .
A woman’s body is one of the most amazing and if you don’t agree its simply because you haven’t seen what it’s truly capable up. I have birthed 3 babies. One of which was over 9 pounds! I’ve been over 200lbs myself and close to it twice. 😳
I don’t wake up this way. #louderforthehaters I am however the strongest I’ve ever been + I only want to keep going. 💪🏼✨🖤
I keep setting baby goals and crushing them. Today I ran the fastest I’ve run ever on the treadmill. What seemed impossible months ago almost felt easy. What a rush!!! 😁😍🖤✨
“You will NEVER always be motivated. You must first be disciplined.”
Funny I would have never put me and disciplined in the same category. I mean I’m not what you call a rule follower and I def tend to lead rather go with the crowd. However being “different” in my personality gave me tons of insecurities.
Unsure why I didn’t see the common trend that when I find something I like and I am good at, it’s natural and almost a need to give it absolutely all I got.
You might see 5am on a Saturday at the gym as crazy. Yet when I think back to how many mornings I spent hovering a toilet at 5am in my life with a hangover I find wayyy more CRAZY!!!! 😪🤦🏻♀️
See my drinking was no different than everything else I find I’m good at, I do it and I did it well. I was the best at drinking! 👏🏻😐😐
Unfortunately being the best at drinking makes you pretty much the worst at everything else. #truestrory so in order to live my absolute best life and be the absolute best I can be it was a no brainer to go alcohol free.
Now I’m the best at being sober and that’s kinda the most amazing thing I could have ever done for myself, well next to leaving FTG. 🙌🏼🖤✨
Besides becoming a Mom, my top 3 life changing things
When your belly has held 8-9 lb babies + gained 40-60 lbs 3 different times your skin is kinda like fuck off. 😫😫😫 I have been busting it in the gym + my stomach is the strongest it’s ever been…. yet the skin remains. #annoying
I am remaining positive and focusing on how damn strong I am and how despite my stretch marks and skin I’m a warrior and these are just another battle scar of life. I can embrace my imperfections while also trying to tighten them up right?! 🤷🏻♀️😬🤗
I can’t help but try oils 🙏🏼
I will be mixing up a new and improved saggy skin mix featuring the boswellia wrinkle cream. Stay tuned for results! 😅🤗🖤✨